We talk for hours. At times her breathing is shallow and punctuated with gasps and moans-at other times there is silence and not even static can be heard through the receiver. I describe everything in the gear bag and their use-dildoes and plugs-inflatable plugs-floggers-paddles-whips-clamps-straps-TENs unit-vibes-sterile needles-tawes-wurtenberg-gags-O rings-canes-rods-sounds-sparklers-spreader bars-chains-pinions-clothes pins-lubes-plumber's candles-hemostats-rubber bands and even the contents of my safety kit-paper bags-bandage scissors-benadryl etc. At the end she's breathless but relentless in demanding to know when we can meet so she can bottom for me.

I tell V that despite her enthusiasm, it is prudent that we first meet in a public place. She doesn't know me-know anything about me and can't even be sure I won't harm her or even that I'm not a serial killer. I also explain to her the need to establish a safe call system. I also lecture her on the need for safety (even to the extent that if she's not safe-I'm not safe and that I do so love my safety) and that recklessness on the part of my partner gives me reason to pause.

We make a date to meet at a local Border and Books in the erotica section for 10:00 A.M. the next day. I instruct her to pick up a copy of "Screw the Roses Give Me the Thorns" and that I'll know it's her.

A word about safety dear readers. I am an attorney by trade and once V had given me her phone number, I had the keys to her kingdom. A reverse directory look up gave me her name and address. From there a search of public records revealed her license plate number and the make and model of the car she drove. I uncovered her mortgage, the date of her divorce-school records-that she was unemployed and owned a Jack Russell terrier. I also established who her husband was-the business he owned-the identity of his new wife-his court records and even that her father had been a well known physician in the metro area.

Bear in mind that I gathered all this information for my own safety. Were I a stalker or that serial killer I had lectured her about-I could have amassed the same personal information and used it for my own purposes. During the telephone call and the resulting comparison of public information, it was also clear that V failed to be truthful about her real identity, her employment status and the town she lived in. Armed with the information I did have however, I planned to "stake" her out an hour before she would reasonably be expected to leave for our meeting at 10.